Good Evening/Morning Ysrayl…

I trust all is well with you this evening/morning… … … Check it out… … … I “HATE” to BREAK AWAY from the SEXY DELICIOUSNESS, “ESPECIALLY” the SEXY DELICIOUSNESS of “MY BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, PURE, SEXY BREATHTAKING, LIFE GVING, LOVELY, AMAZING, DELICIOUS MOTHER”… But I NEED to get some things OUT IN THE OPEN FOR “MY” ACCURACY, as well as give some UNDERSTANDING to “CERTAIN” THINGS “WITHOUT” being “PISSED OFF” ABOUT it WHILE I’m DOIN IT… … …

Those who have been FOLLOWING ALONG for a WHILE, or even those that have taken the TIME and ENERGY to READ some of the THINGS that I HAVE WRITTEN HERE OVER THESE FEW YEARS, “UNDERSTANDS” that “THIS” HERE SITUATION has BEEN a VERY HARD, BRUTAL, PAINFUL ONE ON “ALLL” LEVELS for MYSELF, and in “EVERY SINGLE WAY”… … …

I GUESS that’s to be EXPECTED “CONSIDERING”… … … NOBODY SAID “LIFE” and BEING, “WHAT I AM”, was SUPPOSED to BE “EASY”… … … SHIT, I DON’T REALLY EVEN “KNOW” what “EASY” IS to BE HONEST… … … To BE “COMPLETELY” HONEST ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, “I” REALLY “DON’T” KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE to “NOT” be in the MIDDLE of a “FIGHT”… … … I “DON’T” KNOW what “PEACE” “ACTUALLY” FEELS LIKE to BE “COMPLETELY” STRAIGHT FORWARD… SO “I’M” FIGHTING “DAILY” FOR SOMETHING that “I” PERSONALLY HAVE “NEVER” HAD, and DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND “COMPLETELY”… … …

I have SAID this BEFORE, “NOT” that I FEEL it SHOULD BE “ANYONE” ELSE’S “BURDEN”, or ANYTHING, BUT “I” PERSONALLY as a “FULLY GROWN MAN” “DON’T” KNOW what “LOVE” “FEELS” LIKE… I “DON’T” KNOW WHAT “PROTECTION” and “COMFORT” FEELS LIKE… … … I HAVE “NEVER” BEEN “COMMENDED” FOR “ANYTHING” that I’VE EVER DONE, I HAVE “ONLY” BEEN HANDLED LIKE “I” HAVE DONE SOMETHING for BEING MY FATHER’S CHILD, or JUST BEING a “MAN” that BEHAVES LIKE a “MAN”… … … So I HAVE “NO” CONCRETE CONNECTIONS to “ANYTHING” ACTUAL as CONCERNING “OTHERS” ACTUAL EMOTIONS TOWARDS ME AT ALLL… … …

I’m NOT SAYING that PEOPLE “DON’T” LOVE ME, so “PLEASE” NEVER THINK that I’m “NOT” CINSIDERING THOSE THAT “DO”, that I HAVE “NEVER” MET… … … BUT “I” PERSONALLY “DON’T” RECOGNIZE “LOVE” COMING FROM SOMEONE WHEN its “MIXED” WITH “PAIN, EVIL, IGNORANCE, NEGLECT, ARROGANCE, DECEIT”, and FLAT OUT “NOT” “REALLY” CARING PASSED WHAT HAS TO BE “MADE” KNOWN TO YOU THROUGH “FIGHTING” AGAINST “WHATEVER”… … … So it KINDA COULD be “MY DESIGN”, but “LOVE” DOESN’T MEAN “ANYTHING” to ME IF I GOTTA “FIGHT YOU”, IF I GOTTA BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU HURTING ME, IF I GOTTA WORRY ABOUT YOU “NOT” PROTECTING ME, or if I GOTTA MAKE EXCUSES as to “WHY” I GOTTA MOVE a “CERTAIN WAY” because of this or that REASON that HAS “NOTHING” to do with ME… … … I just “DON’T” HAVE the ENERGY to “BABYSIT” RELATIONSHIPS that “OBVIOUSLY” ONLY MEAN SOMETHING WHEN “YOU” DIDN’T “WIN” the FIGHT “YOU” STARTED… … …

EVERYONE READING this FROM the BEGINNING… IS THERE “ANYTHING” that “Y’ALL” HAVE “EVER” READ ME WRITE or OTHERWISE, that WARRANTED “MY WHOLE FUCKIN CITY” FLIPPIN ON ME, “ALLL” but a “FEW GODD STRONG LOYAL FRIENDS” FLIPPIN ON ME, MY “WHOLE FAMILY” FLIPPIN ON ME, NIGGAS THAT I WAS LOCKED UP WITH FLIPPIN ON ME, and NIGGAS THAT I FLAT OUT “FED” FLIPPIN ON ME?… Because I “STILL” DON’T SEE IT… ESPECIALLY FOR NIGGAS and FAMILY THAT “KNOW ME”, and SHARED what was “SUPPOSED” to be LOVE… SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT FLIPPED ON ME, “CLOSE NIGGAS and SISTERS”, REALLY FELT SOME TYPE OF WAY ABOUT ME, “FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING”… I’m LITERALLY “OUT HERE” FOR THESE NIGGAS, and “THEY” FLIPPED “AGAINST ME” LIKE SOME BITCHES FOR “NOTTHING”… HOW CAN YOU “NOT” ONLY SEE THAT THAT SHIT WAS “ALWAYS” THERE, IT JUST NEEDED a “REASON” … … I DON’T KNOW if ANY of Y’all HAVE “EVER” BEEN THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE “THAT”, but that SHIT FUCKS YOU ALLL THE WAY UP… … … YOU REALLY DON’T TRUST “NOBODY” AFTER SHIT LIKE THAT… … …

So in “MY BOOK”, SEEING as I “REALLY” DON’T “KNOW” what “LOVE” “ACTUALLY” FEELS LIKE, IT’S “ONLY” BETTER FOR ME to “NEVER” UNDERSTAND SOMEONE TO “LOVE” ME that HAS THE AUTHORITY and DESIGN to “DESTROY ME”, or TURN ON ME WITHOUT CAUSE… REGARDLESS OF WHO IT IS… … … THAT’S JUST TOO MUCH… … … I’m DONE BEARING BURDENS for SHIT and PEOPLE that “DON’T” “REALLY” GIVE a FUCK about “ME”… … …

SO to “ALLL” those that “WERE” CONSIDERED “MY FRIENDS”, and “CERTAIN” FAMILY MEMBERS that I HAVE MADE IT “KNOWN TO”, I HAVE “NO PROBLEMS” WITH YOU, and I REALLY DO WISH YOU ALLL THE VERY BEST in EVERYTHING that YOU DO, BUT “WE” HAVE TO “STAND” EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE… … … NO NEED for “EITHER ONE OF US” FAKING LIKE ITS REALLY LOVE, or GON BE LOVE… … … AND “THAT” is “ALLL” I WANT AROUND ME FROM HERE ON… … … I SERIOUSLY JUST BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH IN MY LIFE… AND I BEEN “COMPLETELY” and “TOTALLY” DISRESPECTED and SHOT AT BY PEOPLE that I “ONLY” LOVED… … … IT’S JUST TOO MUCH… … … AND I DIDN’T DESERVE ANY OF IT… … …

KING MAAZYAH

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