Good Evening Ysrayl…

I trust all is well with you this evening… … … I KNOW I SAID I wasn’t gonna write today, but I GUESS I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID that… … … I “NEED” to talk to Y’all, but “ESPECIALLY” my Babies… … … I’m gonna be “COMPLETELY” STRAIGHT with Y’all about a “FEW” THINGS, as USUAL… “NO PUNCHES PULLED, NO BULLSHIT and NO FILLERS”… … …

I AM “SHALL I SAY”, “COMING OUT of an “ILLUSION” “MYSELF”… AS YOU CAN IMAGINE… Or I should SAY that “I” HAVE “GROWN” to SEE “MYSELF, MY ACTIONS and ACTUAL REALITY” just a LITTLE BIT “DIFFERENTLY” OVER the PASSED FEW DAYS… … … For the PASSED “ALMOST FOUR YEARS” I HAVE “COMPLETELY” COMMITED “MYSELF”, MY ENERGY, MY MIND, MY BODY, MY FINANCES, MY WHOLE ENTIRE “EVERYTHING” to “THIS” HERE PROJECT… MY BABIES and MY FAMILY… … … AND I DID THAT “COMPLETELY” and “TOTALLY” ON MY “OWN” ACCOUNT… AND “COMPLETELY” with MY “OWN” MIND, CROWN, KINGDOM and EVERYTHING… AND I DID “ALLL” of that “OUT OF LOVE”… … …

BUT… I’m GONNA be “STRAIGHT” WITH Y’all… … … SEEING JUST HOW MUCH I HAVE “SACRIFICED” ALREADY for “PEOPLE” that “REALLY” DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME, “NOR” MY LIFE “UNTIL” they REALIZED they “ACTUALLY” NEED MY BLACK ASS “SO THEY CAN BE OK”… NOT that that SHIT HAS TO DO WITH ME… … … So WHAT I’m SAYING is, “THEY” DON’T, and DIDN’T ACTUALLY “NEED” ME “UNTIL” THEY REALIZED they were FUCKIN “THEMSELVES”… … …

NOT “ONE” SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER HAS “DONATED” “ANYTHING” to SUPPORT the PROJECT that “I” STARTED for “MY FAMILY”… AIN’T THAT CRAZY?… … … NOT “ONE” SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER WILL EVEN “TALK TO ME”.. BESIDES “ONE or TWO”… AND I GET IT, and its OK to STAY LIKE THAT… SERIOUSLY… ESPECIALLY NOW… … … But what I’m SAYING is this… “I” HAVE BEEN SACRIFICING for “EVERYONE” ELSE, and “NO ONE” HAS DONE “ANYTHING” as CONCERNING ME “CONCRETELY”… And the TRUTH is, the “AMOUNT” of ENERGY and SACRIFICE that “I” HAVE to MAKE to DELIVER for “OTHERS” “DAILY”, “JUST” BEGAN to LOOK a LOT “DIFFERENTLY” to ME… … …

STRAIGHT FORWARD, “I” NEED to JUST START THINKING ABOUT “MYSELF” and “MY BABIES”… Y’all HAVE “NO IDEA” the “AMOUNT of ENERGY” and SACRIFICES that “I” HAVE TO APPLY “JUST” to DELIVER to Y’all the WAY I DO… AND I BELIEVE “EVERYONE” is GROWING, BUT “NO ONE” is REALLY CONTRIBUTING in a WAY that “I” CAN “JUSTIFY” the “AMOUNT” of ENERGY and SACRIFICE GOING into “THIS”… … … I’m “NEVER” the TYPE to “ASK” “ANYBODY” for “ANYTHING”, NEVER BEEN… “ESPECIALLY” WHEN “FULLY GROWN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND “ACTUAL REALITY”… … … AND I’m “NOT” GONNA “START” NOW… “ESPECIALLY” WHEN “MY LIFE and MY BABIES LIVES” ARE “COMPLETLEY” SECURE… … …

But the WHOLE TRUTH is, I’m NOT GONNA WRITE for a WHOLE YEAR “AGAIN”, “ONLY” to SEE BULLSHIT, WHILE “EVERYBODY ELSE” is GETTIN FED from “MY ENERGY”, but NOBODY THINKING ABOUT “ME” other THAN KEEPING ME “ENCOURAGED” ENOUGH TO “KEEP” FIGTHING… … … And I “SAY” “MY ENERGY”, but its “REALLY” the ENERGY of my BABIES as WELL… “WE ARE “ALLL” FEEDING “EVERYBODY ELSE”, while “WE” ARE in BONDAGE… AND “WE” DON’T “HAVE TO BE”… … … JUST “NOT” RITE… … … AND ON TOP of THAT, “PEOPLE” AIN’T RITE… MFKAS WILL “FILL THEMSELVES”, and “NEVER” SEE RESPONSIBILITY to the PERSON “FEEDING”… … … AND I’m “DONE” BEING USED JUST because I HAVE the STRENGTH and AUTHORITY to SAVE SOULS… FUCK THAT… … …

SO WHAT I “THINK” I’m GONNA DO is CHANGE “ALLL” THIS… I CAN “NO LONGER” JUSTIFY sooo MUCH of MY MIND and ENERGY GOING INTO “OTHERS”, and “NOBODY” “REALLY” CARES “ENOUGH” to SHOW THEMSELVES “CONCRETELY” in ALLL THIS, or “ATTEMPT” to “SUPPORT” ME/THIS PASSED “READING” and WHAT INCREASES “THEM”… … … AGAIN, AIN’T NOBODY “STUPID” READING THIS SHIT… I TAUGHT “ALLL” of Y’all ABOUT “ENERGY” and “SACRIFICE”… Y’all “SEEING” it ON MY PART as “FAMILY”, “CONCRETELY”, but “I’m” NOT… NOT the WAY I NEED to to “JUSTIFY” “ALLL” this… “WIT A FUCKIN TARGET ON MY BACK”… … …

And TRUTH be TOLD, WITH “SOOO” MANY PEOPLE that I MAKE MYSELF “ACCOUNTABLE” TO in “THEEE” MOST IMPORTANT “WAY”, FOR OUR “FUTURE as a PEOPLE”, and OUR “OWN REALITY, CITY and FREEDOM”, I SERIOUSLY “SHOULDN’T” HAVE to TAKE the RISKS and SACRIFICES that I HAVE TO, and BEEN HAVING to DO to SUSTAIN “MYSELF” and MY CHILDREN so that I CAN “DELIVER” for “OTHERS”… … … AGAIN it JUST AIN’T RITE… AND to be COMPLETLEY HONEST, I REALLY DON’T WANT to LIVE around PEOPLE, or EMBRACE PEOPLE that OPERATE LIKE THAT… … … Y’all UNDERSTAND WHAT Y’all GETTIN if YOU AIN’T DEAD… … …

“PLEASEEE” NEVER THINK that I AM SAYING “ANYONE” is WRONG for “NOT” TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for “MY HEALTH and LIFE” “CONCRETELY”, the WAY THAT “I AM” for YOURS… I CHOOSE to do what I’m DOIN, and I TOOK RESPONSIBILITY “WITHOUT” ANYONE ASKING me TO… … … AND I DO UNDERSTAND that there are those that may HAVE SOME TYPE of PLAN to SHOW THEMSELVES in a DIFFERNT WAY in PERSON… BUT I GOT RESPONSIBILITIES “TODAY”, and I GOT a RESPONSIBILITY to my BABIES that I SERIOUSLY AM “NOT” WILLING to put OFF TOO MUCH LONGER to FEED “OTHERS”… … … ESPECIALLY if I GOTTA KEEP DOIN what I’m DOIN JUST to DO IT… … … My DESIGN is to SERVE, but I ALSO HAVE a DESIGN to MAKE SURE I’m NOT FUCKIN “MYSELF” WHILE I’m DOIN it for “OTHER PEOPLE”… … …

MY “SO CALLED” FAMILY has TAUGHT me a “VERY VALUABLE LESSON” that I FEEL LIKE I LEARNED a “LITTLE BIT LATE”… … … BUT BEST BELIEVE I GOT it “NOW”… … … Ooooh Wee I GOT IT NOW… … …

So “THIS” is WHAT I’m GONNA DO… … … I’m gonna let my BABIES RESPOND to THIS in “THEIR” WAY, and I’m GONNA CONTINUE to PROCESS MY “OWN” SHIT FIRST so that I CAN SEE CLEARLY… … … But I’m THINKING BABIES that “WE” just START OUR “OWN” LIVES, and PUT OUR ENERGY into “US”, and NOT SO MUCH INTO EVERYONE ELSE… … … AT LEAST UNTIL “WE” ARE HEALTHY… Because I JUST GOT WOKE UP… AND I’m NOT GONNA CONTINUE the WAY I HAVE, “ESPECIALLY” WHEN “NO ONE” is REALLY SHOWING “ME” “ANY” ENERGY that I CAN “USE” to KEEP MYSELF FROM THIS or THAT, “WHILE” FEEDING OTHER PEOPLE IN and FOR “THEIR” CONVENIENCE and LIFE… … …

And JUST STRAIGHT FORWARD, THEM MUTHAFUCKIN NIGGAS FUCKED ME UP… … … I KNEW THEY WOULD TOO… THAT’S WHY I “ALWAYS” STAYED MY DISTANCE SINCE I LEFT LONG AGO… STRAIGHT FUCKIN ANIMALS… AND I LET THESE MUTHAFUCKAS FUCK ME UP TRYNA “SUPER LOVE MUTHAFUCKAS”… I’m JUST DONE wit this SUPER NIGGA SHIT while “I’M” “ONLY” SEEING “BULLSHIT” and DARKNESS that HAS “NOTHING” to do with “ME”… … …

SO want my BABIES to RESPOND in their WAY… AND “WE” will PROCEED FROM “THERE”… But I CAN’T JUSTIFY the “CURRENT” COURSE that I “BEEN” ON ANY LONGER, and I NEED to “ONLY” BE APPLYING my ENERGY to THOSE that ARE “SERIOUS” PASSED BEING “EXCITED” about SOMETHING “NEW”… BECAUSE I DONE WITH GAMES and “INEFFECTIVE PEOPLE” that “EXPECT” the WORLD, but STAY “CONVENIENTLY” AT a “DISTANCE” so they “AREN’T” “REALLY” ACCOUNTABLE… … …

So I’m “NOT” SAYING that I’m GONNA “STOP” WRITING, “RITE NOW”, but I’m GONNA LET my BABIES “SPEAK FIRST”, then I’m GONNA FIGURE OUT a “DIFFERENT” COURSE of ACTION so “I” DON’T BURN UP TRYNA KEEP “OTHER” PEOPLE “WARM”… AND THAT’S WHAT I “BEEN” DOIN for a LONG TIME… … … I’m “ONLY” DEALING WITH THOSE SERIOUS and STRONG ENOUGH… I’m NOT MAKING ACCOMODATIONS for this BITCH SHIT NO MORE… If YOU “STILL” CONFUSED ABOUT “ME, MY INTENTIONS”, or MY CHARACTER in ANY WAY, then “THIS” “REALLY” HAS TO CHANGE “FOR REAL NOW”… … …

UNDERSTAND THIS as WELL… THOSE that RECOGNIZE “MYSELF” as FAMILY, “I AM NOT” QUITTING “ON YOU”… I JUST HAVE to do THINGS to “TIGHTEN” ALLL THIS UP, and MOVIN IN THE “RITE DIRECTION”, because I’m NOT GONNA JUSTIFY “MY” BEHAVIORS “ANYMORE” the WAY I BEEN doin things… … …

KING MAAZYAH

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