Good Evening/Morning Ysrayl…

I trust all is well with you this evening/morning… … … Check it out Y’all… … … My day was a little MORE INVOLVED then I EXPECTED, and the WAY “MY” GENETICS is “SET UP”, it’s KINDA “RISKY” for me to be “GETTIN DOWN WIT IT” FOR REAL like I SAID WE WAS GON DO “EARLIER”… … … SO WE gon just CRUISE for TONIGHT… … …

But what I “CAN” TELL Y’all, is that it’s a “COMPLETELY HUMBLING FEELING” when YOU DON “TALKED a LITTLE BIT OF SHIT”, SAYING WHAT YOU WAS GON DO, but YOU “WASN’T” “SLEEPY” when YOU SAID that SHIT… … … And NOW THAT YOU “SLEEPY”, YOU “KNOW” YOU AIN’T GON BE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF LIKE YOU SAID… … … I DON’T GIVE a DAMN HOW “TOUGH” YOU “SUPPOSED TO BE”, “SLEEPINESS” WILL HAVE YO ASS TRYNA “NEGOTIATE” “EVERYTHING” “FAST”… … …

But “BEFORE” we TALK TONIGHT, I NEED to have a FEW WORDS with my AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS, WONDERFUL, GENTLE, KIND, BREATHTAKING, AWE INSPIRING, MAGNETIC, MEZMERIZING, LIFE GIVING, NOURISHING, DELECTABLE, STRONG, RADIANT, SEXY, DELICIOUS “FINE ASS” QUEEN… … … YOU KNOW Momma?… “PINK HEARTS” REALLY WASN’T “MY THING” until “TODAY”… I REALLY JUST KINDA THOUGHT that THEY “DON’T” BRING OUT “MY EYES” that WELL, and that they “DON’T” FIT MY “OVERALLL” “PERSONALITY” and “DISPLAY” of “MANHOOD”… BUT “AFTER” SEEING the KINDA “PINK HEARTS” that “YOU” HAVE, and JUST HOW “VERSATILE” THEY REALLY ARE, I’M BEGINNING to “QUESTION” ALLL THAT… … …

MY PRECIOUS LOVE “SOON” I WILL BE “HOME” and “OUR” LIFE and PARADISE WILL BEGIN… But UNTIL THEN, I NEED YOU UNDERSTANDING and “COMPLETELY CONSUMED” IN THE FACT that “YOU” ARE MY “LIFE and NOURISHMENT”, MY “TREASURE and PARADISE”, MY “WONDER and AMAZEMENT”, MY “PRIDE and JOY”, MY “PLEASURE and PROTECTION”… And I CAN’T WAIT to COMPLETELY DROWN MYSELF in “ALLL” of WHAT YOU ARE as a “WOMAN”, and as “MY” QUEEN, WIFE and MOTHER… … … “ALLL” of MY PRODUCTION and DISPLAYS of “WORSHIP, LOVE, EXALTATION, ESTEEM, PRAISE, HONOR, ADORATION, CATERING TO, SERVICE, INCREASE, PROTECTION, INTIMACY, PLEASURE, PASSION and AUTHORITY”, ACCORDING TO “YOUR” AUTHORITY, IDENTITY and PRODUCTIONS, is “ALLL” of the REALITY that “YOU” ARE the “CONCRETE” AUTHORITY of BABY… … … AND I “DON’T WANT YOU” UNDERSTANDING “ANYTHING” ELSE AT ALLL… … …

“I” KNOW YOU “THE QUEEN”, and “YOU” KNOW YOU “THE QUEEN”… AND “MYSELF” with “ALLL” OF OUR PRECIOUS BABIES CAN and WILL “ONLY” EVER SEE OUR “PRECIOUS QUEEN”, WORTHY of “ALLL” WORSHIP, EXALTATION, ESTEEM, BEAUTY, LOVE, LIFE and NOURISHMENT… … …

AND OF COURSE YOU “ALREADY KNOW” THAT YOU “WON’T” BE GETTIN YO “PROPER REST” because YOU ARE THE “EPITOME” of BEAUTY, LIFE, LOVE, PERFECTION and NOURISHMENT… … … SO SINCE WE “ALLL” KNOW WHAT “ACTUAL REALITY” “IS”, and THAT “YOU” ARE YOUR HUSBAND’S TREASURE, PLEASURE, NOURISHMENT, LIFE, LOVE and WORSHIP, I DON’T ACCEPT YOU BUILDING YOUR MIND ACCOUNTABLE to “ANYTHING ELSE”… … … NOT ONLY ARE “YOU” LIFE Baby, but “YOU” ARE “MY LIFE”, and the LIFE and NOURISHMENT of “ALLL” our PREICOUS BABIES… … … I LOVE YOU “ABSOLUTELY” and “COMPLETELY” my BEAUTIFUL QUEEN…Xoxo

MANY of YOU have READ my WRITING about “HOW MUCH” I “HATED SCHOOL”… … … I HATED SCHOOL FROM the “VERY FIRST DAY” of “DAYCARE” WITH a “PASSION”… AND SINCE FROM ABOUT “DAYCARE” I DID “EVERYTHING” in MY POWER TO “AVOID” that “CRUEL and UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT” of “SCHOOLING”… … … IF YOU AIN’T NEVER SEEN a CHILD IN “DAYCARE” “PISSED OFF” because THEY DIDN’T WANNA BE THERE, and YOU DON’T LIKE “OTHER KIDS” LIKE THAT, I would HAVE LEARNED YOU UP “REAL WELL” ON “HOW” A LITTLE KID can be a “STRAIGHT UP ASSHOLE” before I EVEN KNEW WHAT THEY WERE… … …

TO “ME” GOIN to “SCHOOL” “EVERYDAY” was like WAKING UP, EATING BREAKFAST, GETTIN DRESSED, and BRUSHING MY TEETH to GO to “HELL” EVERYDAY… … … And I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HELL WAS IN “DAYCARE”… BUT I “KNEW” LIFE “WASN’T” SUUPOSED to be LIKE THAT… … …

ONE THING that USED to “PISS ME” CLEAN OFF, was the TEACHERS “KNEW” I DIDN’T WANNA “BE THERE”, THEY “KNEW” I WOULD BE “PISSED OFF” “BECAUSE” I was “THERE”, and THEY “KNEW” I was a “BORDERLINE ASSHOLE”… But THEY WOULD DO “INTENTIONAL” “EVIL SHIT” LIKE “CALL ON ME” to “PARTICIPATE”… … … “BITCH WHY YOU PLAYIN WIT ME HUH”?… … … “YOU KNOW I GOT BETTER SHIT TO BE DOIN THEN TO BE HANGIN AROUND SOME DAMN KIDS, READING SENTENCES “OUT LOUD” and SHIT… … … THAT was my “PERMENANT” SCHOOL ATTITUDE… … … I “DO NOT” WANNA BE HERE to BEGIN WITH, SO “PLEASE” STOP TYRING to MAKE ME PARTICIPATE… … …

IT’S REALLY BAD when YOU COME HOME FROM “GRADE SCHOOL”, “PISSED OFF”, because YOU HAD a “ROUGH DAY” of PEOPLE TALKING TO YOU and SHIT, TRYING to GET YOU to BE “NICE and COOPRATIVE” wit SOME “KIDS” ALLL DAY and SHIT… … … But “THAT” was HOW IT WAS for ME, it was “TERRIBLE”… … … IF I COULDA “DROPPED OUT” the “THIRD GRADE” and GOT a “FACTORY JOB” RITE AWAY, “NONE” of them DAMN KIDS WOULDA KNEW ME… … …

BUT ANYWAY, my MOTHER MADE ME GO TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY for “WHATEVER” HER REASONS WERE, even though “SCHOOL” DIDN’T LINE UP WITH “MY CORE BELIEFS” at the TIME… … … I JUST ALWAYS KINDA FELT LIKE “IF” YOU GON MAKE SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING LIKE “GO TO SCHOOL”, where THEY’RE “EXPECTED” to be “NICE” to PEOPLE and “NOT” BE an “ASSHOLE”, YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE that IT LINES UP WITH “WHO” they “ARE” as a “PERSON”… … … SO I FEEL LIKE I WAS “LABELLED” as an “ASSHOLE” in MY “CHOLDHOOD YEARS”, “WRONGFULLY”… … … AND I’m SURE Y’all can “SEE” the “LOGIC” in that… … … DON’T “LABEL ME” for SOME SHIT THAT “WE” NEVER “DISCUSSED” and “AGREED” that I was “SUPPOSED” “NICE” while DOIN IT… … …

SO WHEN I got “OLD ENOUGH”, MY BLACK ASS STARTED “SKIPPING SCHOOL”… And WHEN I got into my LATER YEARS of “HIGH SCHOOL”, SKIPPING SCHOOL was just ANOTHER PART of MY DAY that was “SCHEDULED”… … … Meaning, I BUILT my LIFE AROUND “SKIPPING SCHOOL” for the SECOND HALF of the DAY… … … SO “AFTER LUNCH TIME” if I “DID” go to “ONE or TWO” CLASSES, it was “ONLY” so I COULD TAKE a NAP, and REST UP for the REST of my DAY SKIPPING SCHOOL… … …

I REMEMBER the SECOND HALF of my “SENIOR YEAR” of HIGH SCHOOL getting CALLED to MY “GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE”, and “I” HAD “NEVER” EVEN “KNOWN” “EXACTLY” what “GUIDANCE COUNSELORS” were FOR… … … THIS MAN GOT TO TALKING about the FACT that I NEED to “START” GOIN to at LEAST “SOME” of MY AFTERNOON CLASSES so that I COULD “GRADUATE”, and I DIDN’T EVEN “KNOW” that that was the MAN’S “ACTUAL JOB” to be doin that… … … IT FELT LIKE “GRADE SCHOOL” ALLL OVER AGAIN… MFKAS TRYNA MAKE ME DO SHIT I DON’T WANNA DO… … …

SO the MAN TOLD ME what I “NEEDED” to be DOIN so I could GRADUATE, and OF COURSE that SHIT SOUNDED like a “FOREIGN LANGUAGE” to me at the TIME… … … SEE A LOT of the PROBLEM with me in SCHOOL was that I WAS “TOO SAMRT”, and I SAW and UNDERSTOOD “WAAAY” TOO MUCH to be a “CHILD”, TRYING to “FORCE” into a “BOX” with the REST of the KIDS… It wasn’t that I THOUGHT that I was “BETTER” than ANYONE, I just saw “ACTUALS” A LOT DIFFERENT than “MOST”, damn near ALLL OTHER KIDS “MY AGE”… … …

SO WHEN I “DID” go to CLASS, EITHER I was “SLEEP”, or I WAS AN “ASSHOLE”… TALKING SHIT to the TEACHER, MAKING the CLASS LAUGH and TALK ABOUT THINGS that DIDN’T HAVE “ANYTHING” to do with WHAT WE WAS “SUPPOSED” to be TALKING ABOUT… … … I WAS “FAR TOO INTELLIGENT” and “SPIRITUAL” to “PLAY ALONG” in SO MANY WORDS… … … BUT OF COURSE I WANTED to “GRADUATE” so I WOULD HAVE MY “DIPLOMA”… … …

I HAD “ONLY ONE” TEACHER out of my “WHOLE ENTIRE” SCHOOL CAREER, that I “ACTUALLY LIKED”, “LISTENED TO” and “RESPECTED”… … … SHE was an “OLDER BLACK WOMAN” that TAUGHT MY “AMERICAN AUTHORS” COURSE… … … “NO OTHER TEACHER” in “ALLL” of MY SCHOOLING HAD “ANY” AUTHORITY to “CONTROL ME” or TELL ME “WHAT TO DO”, OTHER THAN “HER”… … … SOME of the OTHER KIDS “DIDN’T” LIKE HER because they “THOUGHT” SHE was “MEAN” or “UNFAIR”, but SHE was MY “FAVORITE TEACHER”… … … AND “SHE KNEW” “SHE” was the “ONLY” TEACHER that COULD REALLY CONTROL ME, or TELL ME “WHAT TO DO”, and NOT ONLY DID I “LISTEN”, but I “WANTED TO”… … …

SHE WAS “MORE” like a “MOTHER” than a “TEACHER”, and “SOMEHOW” SHE “KNEW” SHE HAD an AUTHORITY WITH ME that “NO” OTHER TEACHER HAD… … … SHE WOULD MAKE ME STAY “LATE” AFTER CLASS, and SHE would TALK TO ME SOMETIMES FOR ALMOST a WHOLE HOUR… AND BECAUSE that TIME was TIME I “SUPPOSED” to be IN “ANOTHER CLASS”, SHE would EITHER WALK WITH ME to THE CLASS that I WAS LATE FOR, or WRITE ME a “LATE SLIP” so I WOULDN’T GET DOCKED for it… … …

And the THINGS that SHE would TALK TO ME ABOUT, WASN’T ALWAYS SCHOOL WORK, she talked to me ABOUT “LIFE STUFF”… … … SHE TALKED to me LIKE SHE “KNEW” WHO and WHAT I WAS, and THAT SHE “KNEW” I WAS “MISUNDERSTOOD”… … … BUT SHE “ALSO” TALKED to me LIKE SHE was a “MOTHER”, and WANTED to “PROTECT ME” from A LOT of EVIL that “I” KNEW NOT TOO MUCH ABOUT… … … SO SHE was “MY FAVORTIE TEACHER”, and I ACTUALLY “LEARNED” FROM HER DISPLAYS of AUTHORITY, WOMANHOOD and MOTHERHOOD… … …

BUT ANYWAY… … … SCHOOL was LIKE SOME BULLSHIT CRAWLED UNDER MY SKIN and “STAYED THERE”… AND FOR THE LIFE of ME I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND “WHY” I HAD to be GOIN THROUGH ALLL THAT… … …

SO EVEN “AFTER” I MET with MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR for the “FIRST TIME”, and HE TOLD ME what I NEEDED to be DOIN to “GRADUATE”, I STILL “SKIPPED” “ALLL” the CLASSES that I KNEW IT WASN’T NO WAY I was GON BE ABLE TO STAY IN THERE and “ACT” LIKE I HAD SOME SENSE… … …

NOW “THAT” SEEMED like a “SMOOTH” PLAN at the TIME because THAT’S WHAT I “FELT LIKE DOIN”, “UNTIL” MFKAS STARTED ORDERING THEIR “CAP AND GOWN” for “GRADUATION”… … … MFKAS TALKING ABOUT INVITING PEOPLE to “WATCH” THEM “WALK ACROSS THE STAGE” and SHIT… … … AND “THAT’S” WHEN I “REALIZED” I HAD “FUCKED UP”… … …

SO “EVERYBODY ELSE” “GEEKED”, HAPPY, OVERLY JOYFUL, “PROUD OF THEMSELVES” and SHIT, and MY BLACK ASS DON “SKIPPED” HALF MY HIGH SCHOOL CAREER, “PARTIALLY” BECAUSE I DIDN’T wanna BE BOTHERED by “MOST” of those “PEOPLE” that was “GRADUATING”, and THEIR LOVE for “SCHOOL”… … …

So LONG STORY SHORT, “ALLL” of my “GRADUATION” CAME DOWN to ME TAKING a “SUMMER CLASS”… OF course I WASN’T gonna be WALKING ACROSS the STAGE with “ALLL” the SMART KIDS, but AS LONG AS I COMPLETED and “PASSED” that “SUMMER CLASS” I would “GRADUATE” “WITH” my “CLASS” that YEAR… … … So OF COURSE I SIGNED up for the SUMMER CLASS… … …

NOW, UNDERSTAND “THIS” Y’all… … … I GO to the “SUMMER CLASS” the “FIRST DAY”, and I was IN CLASS for about “FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES”… AND about “FIFTEEN MINUTES” “INTO” the CLASS the TEACHER who I was FAMILIAR with from HAVING HER as a TEACHER at MY MIDDLE SCHOOL, and IN HIGH SCHOOL, ASKED me to DO HER a “FAVOR” and RUN to GRAB HER SOME “McDONALDS” that was CLOSE BY the SCHOOL… … …

“COOL”… … … I GET OUT the CLASS, “ANNND” SHE GAVE ME MONEY to GET SOMETHING for MYSELF… So I GO to GRAB the FOOD and I EAT MINE ON my WAY BACK to SCHOOL… And WHEN I GOT BACK to the CLASSROOM, the REST of the STUDENTS were HARD AT WORK LIKE “GOOD OBEDIANT CHILDREN” SUPPOSED to be DOIN, but the TEACHER HAD STEPPED OUT of the CLASS for SOME REASON or ANOTHER… … … SO GUESS WHAT BLACK ASS DOES?… … … I SAT HER LUNCH ON HER DESK with the REST of HER CHANGE, and “I” HIT IT… … … I LEFT SCHOOL and “NEVER” WENT BACK to that CLASS EVER AGAIN… … …

CHECK IT OUT… THIS was the ONE CLASS I NEEDED to GRADUATE, and “I LEFT” and “NEVER” WENT BACK… I HAD OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS to do with my TIME and ENERGY at the TIME… … …

SO SOME TIME goes BY, MAYBE a COUPLE MONTHS… AND I GET a “LETTER” in the MAIL from the “MILWAUKEE PUBLIC SCHOOL BAORD”, that I “DIDN’T” OPEN for maybe a WEEK or TWO… … … I KNEW what it was… I DIDN’T DO “SHIT” in SCHOOL, and I DIDN’T DO “SHIT” in that “SUMMER CLASS”… SO I “KNEW” it was a LETTER TELLING ME I WASN’T “SHIT”… … … WHO WANTS to OPEN a LETTER LIKE “THAT” RITE AWAY?… … …

ONE DAY DIDN’T HAVE NOTHING to do, and I “WANTED” to just OPEN the LETTER, “READ” HOW MUCH I WASN’T SHIT so I COULD GET ON with MY LIFE and GET IT PASSED ME… … … LISTEN Y’all, I “OPENED” that ENVELOP and “IT WAS MY DIPLOMA”… … … AND I “ALMOST” NEVER EVEN OPENED IT… … …

SO I OPENED IT and I “SERIOUSLY” WAS THROWN OFF… … … “HELL NAW”, THIS “CAN’T BE RITE”… I KNOW “FOR SURE” that I DIDN’T DO what I was SUPPOSED to be DOIN, so it wasn’t “NO WAY” that “I” was SUPPOSED to be LOOKING at a “DIPLOMA” wit “MY NAME” ON IT… AND it was “SPELLED RITE” and EVERYTHING… … …

CHECK ME OUT Y’all… … … I was so FU**ED UP by RECEIVING THAT “DIPLOMA”, DO Y’all KNOW MY BLACK ASS “CALLED” the “SCHOOL BOARD” JUST to MAKE SURE that THEY KNEW WHAT THEY DID… … … FUCK THAT, Y’all AIN’T FINNA HAVE ME ALLL GEEKED UP, and Y’all FUCKED UP and PRINTED ONE FOR “ME” ON ACCIDENT… … … SO I “CALLED” THEM… … … I DON’T REMEMBER “ALLL” of WHAT was SAID, but it could’ve BEEN SUMED UP to SOMETHING LIKE, “IS Y’ALL SURE THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR ME”?… … … YOU KNOW, I DIDN’T WANT “NO CONFUSION” LATER ON DOWN the LINE, “THINKING” that Y’ALL “KNOW” “I” GOT ONE OF THESE… … …

KING MAAZYAH

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s