Good Morning Ysrayl…

I trust all is well with you this morning… … … So I want “EVERYONE” to “KNOW” that I’m WELL… And as USUAL no NEEDS for WORRIES about MYSELF… … … And I “KNOW” ALLL those that ARE LIGHT and LIFE that RECOGNIZE “MYSELF” and “MY PRECIOUS BABIES” as LIGHT and LIFE BETTER BE DOIN “WELL” ALSO… … …

IT’S SUPER EARLY in the MORNING, and I’m “NOT” gonna be LONG at ALLL… But there are a “FEW THINGS” that I would LIKE to SHARE WITH “ALLL” of YOU READING, “OPENLY”… … …

I AM “LEARNING” a “LOT” about “EVERYTHING” in “ALLL” THIS… Which is “NICE” for ME because I “LOVE” to LEARN… EVEN THOUGH it’s NOT a “PREFERRED METHOD” of EDUCATION, its “STILL” LEARNING and GROWING for “MYSELF”… AND I TRUST “ALLL” that READ a FOLLOW as WELL… … …

THIS MORNING I would LIKE to be OPEN about SOMETHING… And “STRAIGHT” with Y’all as USUAL about a FEW THINGS… … …

“FIRST”… To be “COMPLETELY HONEST” with ALLL of YOU about the THINGS that “RECENTLY” CAME ABOUT… I DIDN’T EVEN “COMPLETELY” CONNECT ALLL THE DOTS on “EXACTLY” what was GOIN ON, and “WHY” so MANY PEOPLE had “SUDDENLY” FLIPPED on ME… … … And WHEN I SAY I DIDN’T “COMPLETELY” CONNECT the DOTS, I’m SAYING that “I” “DIDN’T” UNDERSTAND “WHAT” I HAD DONE WRONG… Or WHAT “APPEARED” to be “WRONG” to “OTHERS”, because “MY MIND” DOESN’T PROCESS REALITY ACCORDING to the SAME PRODUCTIONS… … …

“MYSELF” FLIPPING on “ANYONE”, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE that “I” RESPECT, LOVE and SOUGHT to “BUILD WITH” and “EMBRACE” as FAMILY… And “SIDING AGAINST” THEM for “WHATEVER REASONS”, is SOMETHING that “NEVER EVER” EVEN CROSSED MY MIND… … … I JUST “THOUGHT” we were “BUILDING” and “SHARING” LIFE… … … That’s ALLL I BEEN DOIN… … …

So the THOUGHT of “BUILDING” OUR CITY OUTSIDE of THOSE that “I” RECOGNIZED as “FAMILY”, or “OUTSIDE” of the “COMFORTS and FREEDOMS” that “ALLL” of US have “FOUGHT” and “LABORED” to HAVE “HERE” IN THIS LAND to SOME DEGREE or ANOTHER, “NEVER” EVEN CROSSED my MIND as REALITY UNTIL I “REALIZED” that’s WHAT “MANY” of YOU “THOUGHT” I was doin… … … “I” was “BLINDSIDED”… … … “NEVER”… … …

The REALITY that “I” LIVE IN is sooo MUCH “SIMPLER” than that, and DOESN’T PRODUCE AGAINST “ITSELF” that WAY… … … TO DO SOMETHING like “THAT”, “ESPECIALLY” “AFTER” so much LOVE, LIFE, LABOR and ENERGY PUT into “THIS”, “HERE”, WITH the MINDS and AUTHORITIES that WERE BUILT AGAINST, EXPERIENCED and SEEN “MUCH” of the SAME DARKNESS that WE HAVE for sooo LONG… … … “NOT EVEN POSSIBLE” for me… … … I WOULD “NEVER” be ABLE to LOOK at “MYSELF” as a “MAN” AT ALLL OPERATING LIKE “THAT”… … …

SO UNDERSTAND “THAT”… … … “NEVER”… … … I “PERSONALLY” DON’T EVEN SEE the “LOGIC” in SOMETHING LIKE “THAT”… … … I SERIOUSLY ONLY just WANNA DO what I’m SUPPOSED to be DOIN, and LIVE MY LIFE “WITHOUT” the “ADDED” STRESS and BULLSHIT… I HAD “ENOUGH”… … …

But “ANYWAY”, what I HAVE “ALSO” LEARNED in the PASSED FEW DAYS is THIS… … … “I’M” “NEVER” GONNA BE “RESPECTED” and HANDLED LIKE a “MAN” by “MANY” for Just “BEING MYSELF”, and DOIN the WORK that “I” PERSONALLY THOUGHT “ALLL” of US NEEDED and WANTED… … … THAT “MAY” be “MY FAULT” and “PROBLEM”, or it COULD be “IGNORANCES” on “BOTH” SIDES of a REALITY that “SHOULD” ONLY HAVE “ONE”… … …

But the “FACT” of the MATTER is that WHAT “YOU SEE”, and UNDERSTAND “MYSELF” to BE, is MORE THAN LIKELY “COMPLETELY” WRONG and “MISUNDERSTOOD”… And I “PERSONALLY” “DON’T” KNOW WHAT to do, or HOW to “CHANGE” MUCH of that “WITHOUT” CHANGING “WHO” and “WHAT” I AM, and RECOGNIZE as “ACCURACY”… … …

I’m SERIOUSLY as “NAKED” as “I” KNOW HOW to BE… AND “I’M” “NEVER” gonna BE OK WITH, or ALLOW “PEOPLE” to TAKE OVER “MY LIFE” and “MIND” to MAKE “YOU” FEEL COMFORTABLE in a REALITY that’s “NOT” for “ME”… … … I’m JUST “NOT” PUT TOGETHER LIKE “MOST” PEOPLE… I “DON’T” WANT or LIKE the SAME THINGS that “MOST” see as “IMPORTANT”, or EVEN WORTH PUT “ANY ENERGY” INTO… … …

I HAVE “OPENED” MYSELF and MY LIFE UP to the “WORLD”, because I THOUGHT “THAT” would “HELP” to EASE WHATEVER “MISUNDERSTANDINGS” and CONFUSIONS that “MAY” have BEEN GATHERED FROM “OTHER” SOURCES “OUTSIDE” of MYSELF… … … I’m NOT PERFECT, but I AM “HONEST”… And I’m “NOT” BUILT to “BETRAY” or “TURN ON ANYONE”… THAT HAS BEEN “MY LIFE EXPERIENCE”, and its ONE OF THEEE MOST “EVIL” THINGS that “ANYONE” could do in “MY OPINION”… … …

WHEN I was “EXPESSING” to THOSE that I THOUGHT I was BUILDING WITH, what “MY” SITUATION “IS”, and the SACRIFICES that I’VE “ARLEADY MADE”, and AM MAKING “DAILY” to BUILD WITH YOU ALLL… UNDERSTAND that I WAS “NEVER”, and “COULD NEVER” ASK FOR “ANYONE” to CHANGE MY LIFE, or MAKE ME “RICH”… THAT’S the MOST “FOOLISH” THING that I COULD EVER THINK OF… I MAKE “MY OWN WAY”, and I BUILD “MY OWN LIFE” and REALITY FOR “MYSELF and MY PRECIOUS BABIES”… I COULD “NEVER” LOOK at MYSELF as a “MAN” from “SOMEONE ELSE” BUILDING MY LIFE FOR ME, or GETTIN “ME” OUT OF CERTAIN BONDAGE… … …

WHAT I was TELLING “EVERYONE” is that “I” HAVE the VERY SAME “RESPONSIBILITIES” as “EVERYONE ELSE”, but I “DON’T” HAVE the SAME OPPORTUNITIES to INCREASE MYSELF in MANY WAYS that OTHERS DO for THIS or THAT REASON that SHOULD BE “OBVIOUS”… So I JUST WANTED to be RECOGNIZED in a WAY that I was SEEN as WORTHY of a “LITTLE ASSISTANCE” with MY “BILLS”, so I CAN have a “CLEAR MIND” and the “FREEDOM” to PRODUCE FOR “ALLL” of US the WAY I KNEW I COULD… And JUST “LIVE” MY LIFE “OUTSIDE” of “SACRIFICING” FOR “EVERYONE ELSE”, and I’M LIVING IN HELL FOR IT… … …

SO “WHATEVER” Y’all “MAY HAVE THOUGHT”, if it WASN’T THAT, IT WASN’T ACCURATE… “I DON’T WANT YO MONEY”… I CAN MAKE “MY OWN MONEY”… I JUST NEEDED to REMOVE SOME “PRESSURE” so I COULD “PRODUCE PROPERLY”, and “HOPEFULLY” SEE THAT OTHERS SAW “MORE” of ME than WHAT MOST HAVE… … … I’m “NOT” what MOST THINK I AM… … … THE OPPOSITE is PROBABLY MORE ACCURATE… BASED on “SOME” of the things that I HAVE “SEEN and HEARD” “RECENTLY”… … …

SOME OF YOU PEOPLE ARE “TERRIBLY EVIL PEOPLE”… SOME of the THINGS that I HAVE SEEN and HEARD OVER the PASSED FEW DAYS WERE “SHOCKING” TO HEAR and SEE… … … I “ALMOST” DIDN’T KNOW Y’all were TALKING ABOUT “ME” for SURE… … … LOL… … …

NONE of that is NEITHER HERE NOR THERE ANY LONGER… … …

SO BECAUSE I JUST “DON’T KNOW” WHO is WHAT, WHAT “MY ACTUAL VALUE” IS TO YOU ALLL OUTSIDE of WHAT “I” CAN DO FOR “YOU”, I CAN’T “COMMIT” MYSELF in “CONFIDENCE” LIKE I HAVE BEEN DOIN… I’m JUST “ME”, I don’t KNOW HOW to be “ANYTHING ELSE”… I WANT to BUILD and GROW “LIKE CRAZY” with “ALLL” of YOU… But I “CAN’T” CONTINUE to CHEAT “MYSELF”, MY BABIES and my RESPONSIBILITIES, and I SEE “NOTHING” from “ANYONE” the “PROTECTS, HELPS or even “CONSIDERS ME/US” “CONCRETELY”… … …

I BEEN FUCKED BEFORE… … … FAR TOO MANY TIMES to be “EXACT”… … … AND I’m HAVING those FAMILIAR FEELINGS AGAIN… “ESPECIALLY” AFTER WHAT I “JUST SEEN”… … …

SO EVEN THOUGH I USUALLY “NEVER” HAVE a PROBLEM MAKING “ANY” DECISIONS as CONCERNING WHAT I DO with MY ENERGY, MIND and LABOR… I’m STURGGLIN… JUST to be COPLETELY HONEST… … … I’m JUST TIRED of ALLL the BULLSHIT… … … JUST TIRED… … … And I “DON’T” EVEN COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND IT… … …

SO I DON’T REALLY KNOW to be HONEST with Y’all, “WHERE” to GO FROM THIS POINT, and “HOW” to PROCEED THERE… I just KNOW that I’m “NOT” gonna “CONTINUE” what I HAVE BEEN DOIN, WHILE PEOPLE “WATCH” ME DESTROY MYSELF, and MY and PRECIOUS BABIES “OWN LIFE” and HAPPINESS for a CAUSE that I’m NOT SURE MOST are ACTUALLY BUILT FOR… … …

KING MAAZYAH

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s